I have to talk on the phone frequently for my job, it isn't the best part of my job but generally it isn't the worst part.
BUT today it has sucked. Let me share with you, in case you don't know, some things that are ridiculously annoying to the person on the other end of that thingy you have in your hand.....oh and not only are these things annoying, but they make you sound like a total idiot.
1. If you ask a question DO NOT start talking again as soon as the person starts answering the question....because, and I know this is a shocker, you can't hear me if you are talking.
2. When taking down a phone number, it is not completely necessary to repeat each number immediately after I say it. I've taken down numbers, I KNOW this is true. And in case you missed it, as I said in #1 you CAN NOT hear me if you are talking. It is beyond annoying to have to repeat my phone number 3 times because you are an idiot.
3. Don't cry. I can't understand you when you are crying.....sorry, but if I can't understand you I can't really answer your question....or even know if you were asking a question.
4. This sort of piggy backs on #3, I'm not your shrink.....I'm sorry that things aren't all puppies and rainbows for you right now but I have work to do so I can't really sit here on the phone with you for an hour while I listen to all of the drama going on in your life right now.
5. Do NOT eat while on the phone with me. You called to ask a simple question, our conversation will last 5 minutes maximum....can you not curb your hunger for just 5 minutes. I'm all for multi-tasking but good lord to hear someone chew on the other end of the line is beyond disgusting.
6. If you have a chihuahua, a parrot, a monkey or an small child who will inevitable start squawking the moment I answer the phone...try, really try to step out of the room that said squawker is in....somehow that high pitched noise is amplified when it is funneled through your phone...just FYI.
7. An appropriate time to call me is NOT when you are in the bathroom....I can tell. Bathrooms have a very distinctive acoustic. Just DON'T do it.
8. Try really hard to just do nothing else while on the phone with me....washing pots and pans is noisy no? so why would you do it while on the phone. This goes for Vacuuming, crushing cans, popping balloons, playing the drums etc etc.
9. Roll up your window. I don't care if you want to call me while you are driving, whatever I'm in a safe office building not on the highway with you while you blab on the phone...fine whatever. But PLEASE roll up your window, I can't hear you through that wind tunnel okay!
10. Last but not least....just because you can't hear me due to your craptastic cell phone coverage in BFE, doesn't mean that I can't hear you. There is no need to yell. And while I'm at it, there is no need to yell at me ever, do you really think yelling at me will make me magically expedite your service needs...uh no....it just pisses me off and you question goes to the end of the pile.
So there ya have it folks....simple really. Just don't be a total douche bag while on the phone....it's easy.
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