In honor of the holidays being right around the corner, thirteen things I want right now!
1. A Kindle...or Nook, or eReader...whatever just so I don't have to lug a book (or two) around in my purse anymore.
2. A big Amazon gift card so I can load #1 up!
3. A dutch oven, if you're like my husband you'd be laughing about a dutch oven right now...but har har har, I'm actually talking about a real Dutch Oven, I'm thinking one like this or this.
4. New flooring for our house...something easy to clean and durable...
5. A Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM
6. A right hand ring that I can design to incorporate my kids birthstones...which just happen to both be Diamonds. Um how freaking perfectly did I plan that!
7. A Nikon D5000 so I can document all of the amazing things going on in my life right now.
8. A housekeeper...need I say more.
9. A new coat, my Old Navy pea coats have seen better days and I guess I must have a coat.
10. A Ju Ju BFF in Midnight Eclipse....I swoon over this bag every time I see it.
11. New furniture for my bedroom....okay actually I want an entire bedroom make over...hey a girl can dream right?
12. Someone to come in to my house and put up all the pictures that I haven't hung yet, as well as all the sconces that are sitting in boxes.
13. A Job for my husband.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
It's not a tooma
Imagine I'm talking in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice a la Kindergarten Cop....see it kinda makes sense then right.
Since my last post was all about the medical woes of my children I thought it only fitting that I devote an entire post to my own medical woes. Now let me preface this with that I know I'm lucky to have my health, that my issues are minor and blah blah blah.
After Addison was born I was kind of shocky, I just laid there unable to talk or move, and shaking etc. I thought this was totally normal having just pushed out a 10 lb baby with no drugs but in hindsight maybe it wasn't. Once home I started to notice that I was getting dizzy often, I found that if I bent over I'd have to steady myself on a wall when I stood up. I chalked it all up to having just had a baby and lack of sleep. Then I started seeing spots, again I figured it was just sleep deprivation. Then my hair started falling out, normal postpartum hormonal stuff I thought, until it started coming out in clumps. For 4 months I brushed off these issues, blaming my diet, hormones, lack of sleep, etc. Finally when I came back to work and got back on a normal schedule that included regular sleep and started working on my diet....and realized that my symptoms hadn't gone away or even lessened, I thought I should see a doctor.
I LOVE my doctor, he listened to me and didn't automatically say "you must just be stressed" like I thought he would with a 2.5 year old,a 4 month old and an unemployed husband at home. Instead he ordered a ridiculous amount of blood work and called an endocrinologist for a consult. I had a phone consult with the Endocrinologist right then and there(where my Dr referred to my hair loss as "male pattern baldness" but I forgave him). The Endo took an interest in my "case" and decided he wanted to see me and had another ridiculous amount of blood work done.
After donating about a gallon of blood to the lab, I met with the Endo....and low and behold they don't know what's wrong with me. So we talk, he orders more blood work and sends me on my way. When he got my blood work back, it still didn't show him what he thought so he put me on some meds anyhow and decided to order a brain MRI. So I went for a brain MRI, oh yeah and more blood work.
The brain MRI revealed a 3mm adenoma on my pituitary glad, which my doctor assures me is "no big deal" but considering that a normal pituitary gland is only 9mm to start with, a "growth" 1/3 the size of the gland seems big to me.
Anyhow, right now we're in a sort of wait and see phase, I have done more blood work, and take medication, my current diagnosis is Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. Which basically means that my Adrenal glands work, but aren't working because they aren't being stimulated...because the hormone that stimulates them should be produced by my pituitary gland, and that gland is damaged.
I go back in a month or so for another brain MRI to make sure that the adenoma hasn't grown and isn't putting pressure on any other parts of my brain. They're working on tapering me off of some of the medication since I've been feeling better and my endocrinologist hopes that my pituitary gland can start working on it's own soon. I guess these meds can just jump start it...but honestly I have no idea.
So, long story short...they have no freaking idea what is wrong with me.
Since my last post was all about the medical woes of my children I thought it only fitting that I devote an entire post to my own medical woes. Now let me preface this with that I know I'm lucky to have my health, that my issues are minor and blah blah blah.
After Addison was born I was kind of shocky, I just laid there unable to talk or move, and shaking etc. I thought this was totally normal having just pushed out a 10 lb baby with no drugs but in hindsight maybe it wasn't. Once home I started to notice that I was getting dizzy often, I found that if I bent over I'd have to steady myself on a wall when I stood up. I chalked it all up to having just had a baby and lack of sleep. Then I started seeing spots, again I figured it was just sleep deprivation. Then my hair started falling out, normal postpartum hormonal stuff I thought, until it started coming out in clumps. For 4 months I brushed off these issues, blaming my diet, hormones, lack of sleep, etc. Finally when I came back to work and got back on a normal schedule that included regular sleep and started working on my diet....and realized that my symptoms hadn't gone away or even lessened, I thought I should see a doctor.
I LOVE my doctor, he listened to me and didn't automatically say "you must just be stressed" like I thought he would with a 2.5 year old,a 4 month old and an unemployed husband at home. Instead he ordered a ridiculous amount of blood work and called an endocrinologist for a consult. I had a phone consult with the Endocrinologist right then and there(where my Dr referred to my hair loss as "male pattern baldness" but I forgave him). The Endo took an interest in my "case" and decided he wanted to see me and had another ridiculous amount of blood work done.
After donating about a gallon of blood to the lab, I met with the Endo....and low and behold they don't know what's wrong with me. So we talk, he orders more blood work and sends me on my way. When he got my blood work back, it still didn't show him what he thought so he put me on some meds anyhow and decided to order a brain MRI. So I went for a brain MRI, oh yeah and more blood work.
The brain MRI revealed a 3mm adenoma on my pituitary glad, which my doctor assures me is "no big deal" but considering that a normal pituitary gland is only 9mm to start with, a "growth" 1/3 the size of the gland seems big to me.
Anyhow, right now we're in a sort of wait and see phase, I have done more blood work, and take medication, my current diagnosis is Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. Which basically means that my Adrenal glands work, but aren't working because they aren't being stimulated...because the hormone that stimulates them should be produced by my pituitary gland, and that gland is damaged.
I go back in a month or so for another brain MRI to make sure that the adenoma hasn't grown and isn't putting pressure on any other parts of my brain. They're working on tapering me off of some of the medication since I've been feeling better and my endocrinologist hopes that my pituitary gland can start working on it's own soon. I guess these meds can just jump start it...but honestly I have no idea.
So, long story short...they have no freaking idea what is wrong with me.
MRIs, Neuro-surgeons, and diagnoses...
I've been in a bit of denial about this so I've avoided blogging about it and mentioning it on facebook ...as though putting it out there would make it more real. But I feel that I've wrapped my head around it enough to be able to put it out there.
When Addison was 2 months old her pediatrician noticed that she had a sacral dimple, basically a small hole at the base of her spinal cord. He said the hole seemed deep and that he wanted her checked out by Neurosurgery to see what they thought. I was concerned but since Natalie had a similar dimple and she's fine I figured it was no big deal. So in June we headed down to Oakland where the closed Pediatric Neuro Surgery department is for Kaiser. We met with a Physicians Assistant who explained that what they were concerned about was a tethered spinal cord and that the dimple can be an indication of a tethered cord. She examined Addison and immediately decided she wanted to get an MRI to be able to check for a tethered cord, she also looked at Natalie and decided to wait to see what Addison's MRI showed before we took further action with Natalie.
We had to wait until Addison was at least 4 months old to get the MRI since she had to be sedated. We trekked back down to Oakland in September for her MRI and she was a champ, she handled the sedation fine, and was flirting with the anesthesiologist and nurse the whole time. The PA wouldn't give me any information over email or the phone so we had to wait two LONG weeks to be able to have a follow up appointment. Finally in early October we headed back down to Oakland to meet with the PA.
The minute she came in the room I knew the diagnosis was going to be a tethered cord, she was very nice and talked through my crying, and let me just process things slowly. Dan was great and took over asking questions about the surgery, hospital stay, recovery, medication etc. And the discussion of bringing Natalie down for an MRI.
The PA indicated that they definitely wanted to get Natalie in for an MRI to rule out a tethered cord for her but to know that they won't schedule both girls for surgery at the same time, and that many parents ask for that but they just can't do it. So of course my first thought is "Shit, "all the time" that means that this happens often that 2 kids have it".
We haven't scheduled Addison's surgery yet, they'd like to do it between 9-12 months so it will likely happen sometime between January and March. Natalie's MRI is scheduled for November 23, and I'm just keeping good thoughts for now that her MRI is clear. I think I can handle Addison needing surgery better since she's so little, she will have no memory of the surgery, the sedation, the pain, the hospital etc. But Natalie is 2.5 and has a memory like a steel trap. I have no idea how we're going to explain to her that she needs to be sedated for a MRI let alone have surgery.
So there it is. I'm holding it together, I'm staying positive, I'm trying to live in the moment. I know the surgery is routine, they do it all the time. But it is still spinal surgery, on my baby.
All this on top of my "we don't know what the hell is wrong with you" shit that is going on now it a bit much for one person...but I'll save that drama for another post.
When Addison was 2 months old her pediatrician noticed that she had a sacral dimple, basically a small hole at the base of her spinal cord. He said the hole seemed deep and that he wanted her checked out by Neurosurgery to see what they thought. I was concerned but since Natalie had a similar dimple and she's fine I figured it was no big deal. So in June we headed down to Oakland where the closed Pediatric Neuro Surgery department is for Kaiser. We met with a Physicians Assistant who explained that what they were concerned about was a tethered spinal cord and that the dimple can be an indication of a tethered cord. She examined Addison and immediately decided she wanted to get an MRI to be able to check for a tethered cord, she also looked at Natalie and decided to wait to see what Addison's MRI showed before we took further action with Natalie.
We had to wait until Addison was at least 4 months old to get the MRI since she had to be sedated. We trekked back down to Oakland in September for her MRI and she was a champ, she handled the sedation fine, and was flirting with the anesthesiologist and nurse the whole time. The PA wouldn't give me any information over email or the phone so we had to wait two LONG weeks to be able to have a follow up appointment. Finally in early October we headed back down to Oakland to meet with the PA.
The minute she came in the room I knew the diagnosis was going to be a tethered cord, she was very nice and talked through my crying, and let me just process things slowly. Dan was great and took over asking questions about the surgery, hospital stay, recovery, medication etc. And the discussion of bringing Natalie down for an MRI.
The PA indicated that they definitely wanted to get Natalie in for an MRI to rule out a tethered cord for her but to know that they won't schedule both girls for surgery at the same time, and that many parents ask for that but they just can't do it. So of course my first thought is "Shit, "all the time" that means that this happens often that 2 kids have it".
We haven't scheduled Addison's surgery yet, they'd like to do it between 9-12 months so it will likely happen sometime between January and March. Natalie's MRI is scheduled for November 23, and I'm just keeping good thoughts for now that her MRI is clear. I think I can handle Addison needing surgery better since she's so little, she will have no memory of the surgery, the sedation, the pain, the hospital etc. But Natalie is 2.5 and has a memory like a steel trap. I have no idea how we're going to explain to her that she needs to be sedated for a MRI let alone have surgery.
So there it is. I'm holding it together, I'm staying positive, I'm trying to live in the moment. I know the surgery is routine, they do it all the time. But it is still spinal surgery, on my baby.
All this on top of my "we don't know what the hell is wrong with you" shit that is going on now it a bit much for one person...but I'll save that drama for another post.
Happiness is...
My girls
I am so beyond blessed to have these two little angels in my life, they make me laugh every day, they make me want to be a good person, they make me want to do more, be more, and love more. Some days when I'm feeling down, or feeling like I can't do anything more...all I have to do is look at these little faces and remember that to them I am the whole world, to them I can do anything, fix anything, be anything. If only I could think half as highly of myself as they do of me.
I am so beyond blessed to have these two little angels in my life, they make me laugh every day, they make me want to be a good person, they make me want to do more, be more, and love more. Some days when I'm feeling down, or feeling like I can't do anything more...all I have to do is look at these little faces and remember that to them I am the whole world, to them I can do anything, fix anything, be anything. If only I could think half as highly of myself as they do of me. So this is a note to remember that perception can be reality, remember that to someone you are the most amazing person in the world, to someone you can do anything...so try to be that person!
Monday, October 11, 2010
75 days until Christmas!
Holy Shit, only 75 days until Christmas.
I don't know about you guys but once Halloween comes it's all down hill from there. I feel like the Holidays snowball and next thing you know it's January.
I am a huge fan of early Christmas shopping. I use the excuse that it helps me save money since I spread it out over a few months, but in reality I probably spend more but just spread it over a few months.
That said, I have already done about 25% of my Christmas shopping, and I did get a couple of really great deals.
So, have you all out there in blogger land started Christmas shopping yet?
Any amazing deals to pass along?
I don't know about you guys but once Halloween comes it's all down hill from there. I feel like the Holidays snowball and next thing you know it's January.
I am a huge fan of early Christmas shopping. I use the excuse that it helps me save money since I spread it out over a few months, but in reality I probably spend more but just spread it over a few months.
That said, I have already done about 25% of my Christmas shopping, and I did get a couple of really great deals.
So, have you all out there in blogger land started Christmas shopping yet?
Any amazing deals to pass along?
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