I hate the gray area...

I hate not knowing the answer, I need things to be yes or no, true or false, right or wrong, black or white...none of this gray area shit.
You know that old saying "No such thing as a little bit pregnant".....well if your name is Kelly you can be.
So for the 3rd time in 2 years, and the second time in 2 months I'm searching for answers....and not only the "simple" answer of am I or aren't I...but answers to the bigger questions...like why, how, and WTF....
It's hard not to lose hope....and not to be angry....so today I will just be all the things I want to be F*ck it why not.
Today I'm bitter, sad, angry, hurt, out of hope, selfish, cynical and tired...so don't pity me pity those who come into contact with me...because I can guarantee you it won't be a pleasant experience for them.