MRIs, Neuro-surgeons, and diagnoses...

I've been in a bit of denial about this so I've avoided blogging about it and mentioning it on facebook ...as though putting it out there would make it more real. But I feel that I've wrapped my head around it enough to be able to put it out there.

When Addison was 2 months old her pediatrician noticed that she had a sacral dimple, basically a small hole at the base of her spinal cord. He said the hole seemed deep and that he wanted her checked out by Neurosurgery to see what they thought. I was concerned but since Natalie had a similar dimple and she's fine I figured it was no big deal. So in June we headed down to Oakland where the closed Pediatric Neuro Surgery department is for Kaiser. We met with a Physicians Assistant who explained that what they were concerned about was a tethered spinal cord and that the dimple can be an indication of a tethered cord. She examined Addison and immediately decided she wanted to get an MRI to be able to check for a tethered cord, she also looked at Natalie and decided to wait to see what Addison's MRI showed before we took further action with Natalie.

We had to wait until Addison was at least 4 months old to get the MRI since she had to be sedated. We trekked back down to Oakland in September for her MRI and she was a champ, she handled the sedation fine, and was flirting with the anesthesiologist and nurse the whole time. The PA wouldn't give me any information over email or the phone so we had to wait two LONG weeks to be able to have a follow up appointment. Finally in early October we headed back down to Oakland to meet with the PA.
The minute she came in the room I knew the diagnosis was going to be a tethered cord, she was very nice and talked through my crying, and let me just process things slowly. Dan was great and took over asking questions about the surgery, hospital stay, recovery, medication etc. And the discussion of bringing Natalie down for an MRI.
The PA indicated that they definitely wanted to get Natalie in for an MRI to rule out a tethered cord for her but to know that they won't schedule both girls for surgery at the same time, and that many parents ask for that but they just can't do it. So of course my first thought is "Shit, "all the time" that means that this happens often that 2 kids have it".

We haven't scheduled Addison's surgery yet, they'd like to do it between 9-12 months so it will likely happen sometime between January and March. Natalie's MRI is scheduled for November 23, and I'm just keeping good thoughts for now that her MRI is clear. I think I can handle Addison needing surgery better since she's so little, she will have no memory of the surgery, the sedation, the pain, the hospital etc. But Natalie is 2.5 and has a memory like a steel trap. I have no idea how we're going to explain to her that she needs to be sedated for a MRI let alone have surgery.

So there it is. I'm holding it together, I'm staying positive, I'm trying to live in the moment. I know the surgery is routine, they do it all the time. But it is still spinal surgery, on my baby.
All this on top of my "we don't know what the hell is wrong with you" shit that is going on now it a bit much for one person...but I'll save that drama for another post.

Happiness is...

My girls

I am so beyond blessed to have these two little angels in my life, they make me laugh every day, they make me want to be a good person, they make me want to do more, be more, and love more. Some days when I'm feeling down, or feeling like I can't do anything more...all I have to do is look at these little faces and remember that to them I am the whole world, to them I can do anything, fix anything, be anything. If only I could think half as highly of myself as they do of me.

So this is a note to remember that perception can be reality, remember that to someone you are the most amazing person in the world, to someone you can do anything...so try to be that person!

75 days until Christmas!

Holy Shit, only 75 days until Christmas.
I don't know about you guys but once Halloween comes it's all down hill from there. I feel like the Holidays snowball and next thing you know it's January.
I am a huge fan of early Christmas shopping. I use the excuse that it helps me save money since I spread it out over a few months, but in reality I probably spend more but just spread it over a few months.
That said, I have already done about 25% of my Christmas shopping, and I did get a couple of really great deals.
So, have you all out there in blogger land started Christmas shopping yet?
Any amazing deals to pass along?

Happy Birthday Dan!

Happy Happy Birthday to my husband, who is the kindest man I know. I know I don't tell him often enough....er ever for that matter, but he is an amazing father, husband, and friend. I am so incredibly lucky to have found him and we are beyond blessed to have two beautiful little girls.

So Happy Birthday Dan! I love you!!

I tried to find a picture of Dan to put in this post but all the pictures I have on my phone are awful! So instead I'll include a picture of Addison looking super cute!

Product Rave! Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo

As a working mom of two, I have seriously limited time in the mornings, and frankly my hair takes a backseat to say getting dresses or making coffee. On top of that I HATE washing my hair. It isn't so much the washing aspect that I hate, but the blow drying, flat ironing, etc etc that seems to take way too much time.
So a couple years ago I started washing my hair less, this was a win-win for me since I was having to blow dry my hair less, thus saving me time and saving my hair from getting too dried out. Well then came kids, and my time to get ready got even shorter....so I tried to figure out a way to wash my hair even less than every other day. I decided to buy some dry shampoos to see if that would help. I tried every drug store brand, and they either left a powdery residue on my hair, or had a crazy overpowering scent, or just didn't work.
So I decided to bite the bullet and go for the slightly pricier dry Shampoo by Oscar Blandi ...and OMG I am in love! Not only does it work amazingly well, it is virtually clear when it goes on and totally clear when it dries....as opposed to the drug store brands that went on white, and dried even worse, and the fresh lemon scent is great but not overpowering.
My hair looks great, seriously almost better than if I had washed and dried it today, and the best part is that I only had to spend like 5 minutes on my hair this morning! 5 freaking minutes!!! How awesome is that?!?!?
Anyhow, I just thought I'd share for all of you out there who can use a little extra time in the mornings, and who love a good hair day!

A different kind of Labor Day weekend...

In years past Labor Day weekend marked the end of summer and we always went out with a bang. We'd go camping, or have huge parties, and pretty much drink for an entire 3 days.
But my how times have changed, this year for Labor Day weekend we decided to potty train Natalie, transition her into a big girl bed and feed Addison rice cereal. All things went amazingly well, but the fact that I was up WAY before 8 am on a "holiday weekend" and by 8 had done laundry, and cleaned up after a meal already made me feel a pang of nostalgia for those carefree days of yore.
Which made me think of all the Then vs Now moments I've had lately....and man there have been a few.

Then, my apartment was constantly clean, everything had a place and it was always perfect...Now I clean my house and within 15 minutes you can't tell at all. Nothing has an official place other than the middle of the floor here and there, and I don't own one single perfect thing anymore.

Then, weekends were spent getting dolled up to go out and get drunk, then sleeping until late in the afternoon, waking up and getting dolled up again to go out and get drunk again. Now, I wake early, get dressed, get two other people dressed, fed and entertained all before 8 in the morning, and they're going down for naps before I used to even get out of bed. Not to mention my multiple outfit changes that are a result of sticky fingers, spit up, and other various gross kid things.

Then, I'd gladly drop $100+ on a new outfit for a night out, get accessories, shoes and makeup for big events, and never left the house looking less than put together. Now, I gladly spent $100+ on clothes for my kids while I shop the clearance racks everywhere. I never wear accessories, slap on a bit of makeup and never look put together.

But I have to say I wouldn't trade the stains my kids have left on my clothes, the scars they've left on my body, the spots on my carpet, nor worry lines they've left on my face, or the gray hairs they've given me for anything in the world. I'm more blessed than I've ever been before and can't imagine my life any other way.

Getting on the Potty Train

For a while now Natalie has been asking to use the potty, most of the time this just means that she sits on the potty talking to me while I wait and wait for nothing to happen. And if I indulged this game once it meant countless trips to the potty throughout the day.
I hated the idea of potty training since it meant that we would be housebound for an entire weekend...and I HATE staying home all weekend.
But I finally decided to bite the bullet and jump on the potty train this weekend...and it went great!
Saturday morning I put Natalie in training pants, we discussed going to the bathroom countless times and within an hour she went on the potty....and from then on it was about a 50-50 success rate. Which I was please with, Dan was irked by the peeing on the floor but I told him it was par for the course.
Anyhow, we even *warning TMI* got a poop on the potty on the first day! Wooo Hoo!
Day 2 and 3 went pretty much the same, with only one major accident while I was out shopping and Natalie was home with Dan (man I love that she saved it for him) which resulted in him cutting the undies off of her and throwing them away. Hilarious if you ask me!
But all in all I'm thrilled that we decided to do it and, I'm hoping that we can say goodbye to diapers (for Natalie at least) once and for all soon!